7 obvious things that make change hard

Obvious thing #1

Things happen the way they do and are the way they are for a reason.

Few people look for that reason.

Which makes change hard.

Obvious thing #2

The people and systems most resistant to change usually have the most power.

That’s why they don’t want change.

And why they have the power to make change hard.

Obvious thing #3

Change is a 4 step process. Most people stop at the second step.

Not following the steps makes change hard.

Here are the steps:

Step 1) find something to change.

Step 2) figure out what to change it to.

Step 3) come up with a plan that will cause the change to happen.

Step 4) actually do it.

Obvious thing #4

People overestimate their own ability to change and create change.

When I said that most people stop at the second step, did you say to yourself, “not me”?

Did you ask yourself for proof or simply accept the (over)estimation of your change making ability?

Ignoring reality makes change hard.

Obvious thing #5

Warehouses, websites, and widgets require resources. Those resources must come from somewhere.

If you haven’t found the resources to cause the change you want to see, you haven’t finished step 3.

Not having the right resources makes change hard.

Obvious thing #6

Opportunity costs.

Obvious thing #7

We humans are the most valued creation. And it often goes to our heads. We believe the world revolves around us.

But we also know that it doesn’t.

So we imagine a different world.

One that revolves around us.

And we spend the majority of our time living in that world.

The change you want may be obviously perfect in the world you’ve created in your head.

That same change may be obviously flawed in the world I’ve created in my head.

Until we test the change in the much harsher, much more pragmatic, and yet much more rewarding world known as reality, we haven’t done step 4. Or step 1.

And that’s the catch.

Here’s the catch

I said most people stop at the second step.

Most people also start at the second step.

The thing you found to change is probably an outcome, right?

Not the underlying process, thought, behavior, or habit that produced the outcome?

You want to be stronger, but you don’t want to change the process that keeps you weak.

You want to be thinner, but you don’t want to change the process that makes you…less thinner.

You want to be happier, but you don’t want to change the process that makes you depressed.

You want to have more money, but you don’t want to change the processes of earning or spending money.

You want to be a better husband, but you don’t want to change the process that makes you a lousy one.

You want to be smarter but you don’t want to change your mind…

The thing you obviously can’t change

But here’s the thing. We can’t change outcomes. Not past, present, or future.

Focusing on outcomes makes change hard.

Instead of trying to change the outcomes, focus on trying to change the processes that produced them.

Next time you want to change something, starting at step 1 will make change easier.

And when you do step 1, remember that you are finding the process currently creating the outcome you don’t want.

When you start there, I believe you’ll find that change can happen much faster than you previously thought possible.

But only if you’re willing to live in reality.

Bonus thing #8

If you’ve tried to change your own behavior in the past and failed, you’re human.

And changing humans is extra hard.

Why?

Well, because our hearts and minds are the processes creating the outcomes.

What you say. What you do. What you feel.

Changing hearts and minds can be frustratingly difficult for people to do.

But I have great news.

What is impossibly difficult for humans is possible for God.

God can change your heart. And your mind. And he wants to.

But what if that change is hard for you to accept? Then what?

It’s actually obvious.

The person or thing most resistant to the change is the person or thing with the most power in your life right now.

Is it you? Your idol? A romantic interest? Money? Coffee? Some other addiction?

Find the power and get it back.

Replace that person or thing with Jesus Christ, and everything inside you begins to change.

Literally.

If you haven’t experienced what it feels like to have the core of who you are reset and every area of your life altered, your thoughts and emotions and physical responses and sleeping patterns and feelings towards others, if you haven’t experienced that I question whether you’ve surrendered your life to Christ?

If you don’t like where you are in life…

If you don’t like where things are headed…

If you don’t like the sleepless nights, the tightness in your chest, or the uncontrollable and unwelcome thoughts racing in your head…

Then take back the power in your life and surrender it to Christ.

God is the only one you can trust with that power.

All you have to do is ask.

The answer is love God more.

The question is, why don’t you?

There’s freedom in facing and answering that question.

Which belief is it that you cannot change?

God can change that belief for you.

All you have to do is ask.

It’s the easiest change I’ve ever made. And the hardest, because surrendering means letting go of control.

But you got you where you are by doing what you did. Are you happy with where you are? Is your life fulfilling? When you lay down to sleep at night, are you satisfied? Do you feel peaceful inside?

No?

Surrender.

I did.

And it’s had a bigger impact on my life and the lives of the people around me than every other change I’ve made or failed to make combined.

No relationship, no habit, no job, no income level, no friend count, no knowledge, no skill, no meal, no experience, nothing else compares to the change of taking back the power in my life and willingly and joyfully giving it to Christ.

And every. Single. Thing. In. That. List. Got better as a result of that one single decision.

All you have to do is ask.